I joined the Good Life Project podcast for a candid conversation with guest host Cynthia Morris about rediscovering pleasure, rebuilding intimate connection, and why I believe your best lovemaking may still be ahead of you.
If you’ve quietly wondered whether the passionate part of your life is over, I want you to listen to this episode. We explore the questions so many people carry into midlife but rarely feel comfortable asking—and the possibilities that open up when we finally begin talking.
The Personal Story Behind My Work
At 42, after eleven years of marriage, I had never experienced an orgasm from intercourse. My marriage was struggling, and my husband was having an affair.
That chapter of my life is part of the reason I care so deeply about intimacy education. I know what it feels like to have unmet needs without the understanding or communication skills to address them.
In this conversation, I share what helped turn things around, why couples therapy wasn’t the turning point for us, and how that experience shaped the way I teach today. We also discuss the framework I developed from that journey to help couples communicate about their intimate needs.
Over more than two decades, my work has grown to include 44 books and programs on lovemaking, sensual communication, and what I call regenerative intimacy, reaching more than 1.5 million people worldwide. Underneath all of it is a deeply personal desire to help people discover what they were never taught about pleasure and connection.
Looking Beyond the Label of Low Libido
One of the questions we explore is what people actually mean when they say they have “low libido.”
In my teaching, I distinguish between three different experiences that people often place under that one label. Cynthia and I discuss why those distinctions matter and how they can change the questions you ask about what you need.
I want you to have language for your experience. Being able to describe what you’re feeling—and what you’re missing—can give you a more useful starting point for a conversation with your partner.
We also talk about why I moved away from using the word “sex” in my teaching and what I’ve noticed when I invite people into a conversation about lovemaking instead. For me, that language makes room for tenderness, curiosity, sensuality, and connection.
Learning What Your Body Needs
Cynthia and I explore how arousal builds in the body, including the differences I describe between men’s and women’s arousal and the visual analogy I use to help make those ideas easier to understand.
We also discuss a shift in my own experience: becoming comfortable with tools and techniques as part of learning about pleasure.
I share what changed when I stopped treating that learning as something to be embarrassed about. Giving myself permission to explore became an important part of my journey, and it continues to shape how I approach intimacy education.
A Good Life Includes Intimate Connection
Hosted by Jonathan Fields, Good Life Project explores what it takes to build a life that feels like your own through the reinventions and reckonings of your 40s, 50s, and beyond. Its podcast and video conversations have been listened to and viewed more than 100 million times.
For this episode, acclaimed author and coach Cynthia Morris steps in as guest host. Together, we bring intimacy into that larger conversation about living well.
I hope you’ll listen with curiosity about what might still be possible for you. Whatever decade you’re in, you deserve room to keep learning, express your needs, and explore the connection you want.
Join Cynthia and me on Good Life Project for an honest conversation about pleasure, communication, and finding your way back to each other.
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