Can technology bring us closer to the people we love? And what happens when artificial intelligence starts learning our sexual preferences?
On my guest appearance on Dear Men, we explored the fascinating—and sometimes surprising—intersection of sex tech, AI, pleasure, and relationships. From connected devices for long-distance lovers to immersive sexual fantasy worlds, this conversation went well beyond the usual discussion of sex toys.
The question I kept coming back to was this: How can we use these tools to support the intimacy we actually want?
A Conversation for Men Who Want Deeper Connection
Dear Men offers advice for men who want to grow in sex, dating, relationships, and marriage. The show invites women to share their perspectives on desire and connection, helping men better understand what women want and how to build more satisfying relationships.
I love that personal growth is part of this conversation. Learning to listen, share your desires, and welcome feedback can open doors that a new gadget alone never will.
Sex Tech Meets Artificial Intelligence
We talked about synchronized strokers, connected pleasure devices, and teledildonics: technology that allows people to share or control sexual stimulation remotely. We also explored erotic role-playing worlds—including an Aztec warrior woman fantasy—and adaptive AI that learns what excites a user and offers more of it.
That raises some big questions. When does personalization enhance pleasure? When might the pursuit of more stimulation begin to crowd out real-world connection? And how should we think about dopamine, desire, and our relationship with porn as these experiences become more immersive?
These are questions worth bringing into the open. I want people to approach sexual technology with curiosity and awareness of how it fits into their lives and relationships.
Long-Distance Lovers Can Still Share Pleasure
This conversation got personal, too. I shared the device setup my boyfriend and I use for long-distance intimacy and how we combine connected technology with video to enjoy pleasure together while we’re thousands of miles apart.
We even talked about synchronized orgasms—and a hard-boiled egg comparison you’ll have to hear for yourself!
For me, the meaningful part is the shared experience: making time for each other, staying engaged, and expressing desire across the distance. The devices become part of that connection.
Pleasure and Sexual Wellness as We Age
We also moved beyond AI to talk about our changing bodies and the possibilities for pleasure throughout life. In the episode, we explore:
- Vaginal tissue health and the topic of regeneration, including dryness during perimenopause and menopause.
- A 96% statistic raised in our discussion of what porn portrays—and why it matters to our expectations of sex.
- An ancient practice aimed at separating orgasm from ejaculation.
- Why penis pumps deserve a more thoughtful conversation than their novelty reputation suggests.
These topics all connect to something I care deeply about: staying curious about our bodies as we age. Changes in sexual comfort or response deserve attention, and our understanding of pleasure can keep growing.
Communication Makes the Technology Meaningful
One point we agreed on deserves to be at the center of this entire conversation: even the most sophisticated sex tech needs communication underneath it.
Can you tell your partner what feels good? Can you ask for a change without embarrassment? Can you listen to their feedback with warmth and curiosity?
Those conversations help lovers explore together. Whether you’re trying a connected device, navigating distance, or rediscovering pleasure in midlife, make room to talk about what you each want and how the experience feels.
And yes, this episode includes the line that captures my enthusiasm for a long, pleasure-filled life:
“I want to live forever and fuck till I die!”
Listen to My Dear Men Conversation
Join me for a candid conversation about AI, sex tech, sexual wellness, and the human connection that makes pleasure meaningful. If you’re curious about where intimacy is heading—and how to keep your relationship at the center—this episode will give you plenty to think and talk about.
Listen⇓
