Selfish Is the Key: My Candid Conversation on The Selfish Woman Podcast
If you’ve been in my orbit for a while, you know I believe intimacy isn’t just something that “happens”—it’s a dynamic, evolving practice of reclaiming your energy, your body, and your pleasure.
That’s why sitting down with Valerie on The Selfish Woman podcast was an absolute blast.
Let’s get one thing clear right away: Selfish is the key that unlocks the dungeon.
This podcast is feminism for the woman who has been in the trenches of life for decades—the kind of wisdom that only comes from surviving marriages, navigating rebuilds, and finally throwing out the rulebook we were taught to follow. Think of it as a confession booth for women who are officially done playing “good girl.” It’s raw, refreshing, and deeply necessary. (And it’s no surprise it was ranked #23 in Feedspot’s Top 80 Badass Female Podcasts of 2026!)
What Happens When We Stop Abandoning Ourselves?
During our chat, Valerie and I dove headfirst into a question that doesn’t get asked often enough: What if the same cultural conditioning that teaches women to abandon themselves in everyday life is showing up right under the covers?
So many women have been taught to shrink, prioritize everyone else’s needs, and treat sex as a performance or a duty rather than a sanctuary of mutual pleasure. Valerie and I unpacked what happens when you decide to change that narrative—when you reclaim your desire, step into your full pleasure, and own the entire spectrum of who you are.
We talked openly about why so many couples struggle to talk about sex without feeling awkward or defensive. The truth? A thriving intimate relationship has very little to do with “performance” and everything to do with curiosity, radical communication, and true heart-to-body connection.
Whether you are single, partnered, divorced, dating, or simply on a personal journey to understand your own relationship with desire, this conversation will give you a whole new perspective on intimacy and what it means to feel fully alive.
What We Covered in the Episode
We covered serious ground in this episode—from hilarious realizations to deep, transformative insights:
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The Hidden Impact of Conditioning: How societal expectations quietly sabotage both men and women in the bedroom.
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Living as Your Full Self: Why authenticity is the ultimate aphrodisiac and how owning your identity transforms your love life.
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The Intimacy Gap: Unpacking the unspoken rift that keeps partners feeling worlds apart.
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Orgasmic Cross-Training: Expanding your pleasure potential and discovering new pathways to sexual fulfillment.
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Bridging the Male Loneliness Epidemic: Understanding what’s happening beneath the surface for men and how real connection cures isolation.
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Engaging Your Partner: Practical, low-pressure ways to start open, exciting conversations about desire with your partner.
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The Fountain of Youth: Why regular orgasms and vibrant erotic play keep us healthy, radiant, and young at heart!
“Great sex isn’t something that peaks in your twenties—it evolves, deepens, and gets better throughout every stage of your life if you’re willing to stay curious.”
Listen to the Episode
Ready to stop being “good” and start being fully alive? Tune in to my guest appearance on The Selfish Woman with Valerie on your favorite podcast platform, grab your favorite drink, and let’s talk about what pleasure really looks like when you put yourself first.