What does an open relationship actually look like when you move beyond the labels and start talking about real life? How do you navigate loving more than one person, feeling jealous, protecting your relationships, and being honest with your family?
I joined Karen Bigman on the Taboo to Truth Podcast, alongside Karl Eberhardt, for a candid conversation about non-monogamy in midlife. We shared personal stories about opening relationships, falling in love, and working through moments that were much harder than we expected.
If you’ve ever been curious about open relationships—or wondered how any of this works day to day—this episode gives you a very personal look inside our experience.
Talking About Sex and Relationships With Karen Bigman
Karen is a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Relationship Coach who brings a straightforward approach to conversations many people were taught to avoid.
On Taboo to Truth, she explores sexuality in midlife, dating and sex after divorce, and the ways hormonal changes can affect desire, pleasure, and sexual health. Her conversations also cover polyamory, kink, BDSM, and sexual dysfunction, creating room for honest questions about intimacy at different stages of life.
For this episode, we brought that openness to a subject that can stir up plenty of curiosity and strong opinions: consensual non-monogamy.
Open Relationships and the Importance of Agreements
We begin by exploring the relationship tree and the distinctions between non-monogamy and cheating. We discuss open relationships, polyamory, and relationship anarchy, then move into what those ideas look like in our lives.
For me, this conversation comes back to honesty, consent, and the agreements people make with one another. A relationship label is only the beginning of understanding how the people involved want to love and connect.
I share how I knew I was ready to open my marriage, and Karl and I tell the story of how we met. Yes, there’s a pool story! We also discuss why Karl considers himself well-suited for polyamory and what I mean when I talk about having two love relationships.
Jealousy and Compersion in Real Life
We get personal about jealousy. I share the feelings that followed my connection with a younger lover, and Karl talks about facing jealousy around an old flame.
We also explore compersion: finding joy in a partner’s happiness with someone else. That’s part of the conversation, alongside the uncomfortable emotions and difficult experiences that deserve just as much attention.
One of the most vulnerable parts of the episode is my account of nearly losing Tim after 35 years of marriage, in a situation we discuss using the phrase “husband thievery.” It’s a deeply personal part of this story, and an important piece of understanding the emotional stakes behind these relationship choices.
Sexual Health and the People We Love
STI testing and screening are a non-negotiable part of the approach we discuss. We talk about “screening in” and the place sexual health conversations have in our relationships.
Beyond that, we share what it’s like to navigate connections with other partners, including Karl’s San Diego girlfriend and traveling as a throuple. We also touch on a different kind of intimacy through the term “Bambi.”
And because relationships exist within families, too, I share how our adult daughter, Taylor, learned that her parents were non-monogamous in one short conversation. You’ll also hear how a “summer boy toy” became a full-time boyfriend!
Listen to My Taboo to Truth Conversation
Whether you’re curious, skeptical, or already exploring non-monogamy, I invite you to listen with an open mind. Karl and I share the affection, humor, jealousy, and difficult moments that make this a conversation about people as much as relationship structures.
Join us on Taboo to Truth for an honest look at how we’re navigating love and intimacy in midlife.
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Episode Chapters
- 0:00 — Redefining Relationships in Midlife
- 0:28 — Welcome to Taboo to Truth
- 0:52 — Meet Susan Bratton & Karl Eberhardt
- 2:25 — Defining Non-Monogamy vs. Cheating: The Relationship Tree
- 7:29 — How Susan Knew She Was Ready to Open Her Marriage
- 8:25 — How Karl and Susan Met (The Pool Story)
- 12:02 — Why Karl Is “Well-Suited” for Polyamory
- 14:34 — The Non-Negotiable: STI Testing & Screening In
- 15:39 — “Polyamory Means Love Many”: Susan’s Two Love Relationships
- 17:27 — Karl’s San Diego Girlfriend & Traveling as a Throuple
- 19:59 — What Is a “Bambi”? A Different Kind of Intimacy
- 21:26 — Susan’s Young Lover & the Jealousy That Followed
- 23:57 — Karl’s Turn: Facing Jealousy Over an Old Flame
- 26:29 — Compersion, Husband Thievery & Almost Losing Tim
- 29:44 — Telling Their Daughter Taylor
- 31:11 — From “Summer Boy Toy” to Full-Time Boyfriend
- 34:05 — Outro