The Affair That Saved Our Marriage: My Conversation on Age Well with Dr Sophie Shotter
I recently had the pleasure of joining Age Well with Dr Sophie Shotter, alongside journalist and writer Fiona Mattesini, for a deeply personal and powerful conversation about relationships, sexuality, aging, and what it truly means to honor ourselves as we evolve throughout life.
If you’re not familiar with the podcast, Age Well explores the latest developments in skincare, longevity, wellness, and healthy aging. But in this episode, we ventured into territory that is every bit as important to living well: intimacy, desire, and the courage to pursue a fulfilling sex life at every age.
The Story Behind the Headline
One quote from our conversation became the headline for the episode:
“He was having an affair – and I’m now so appreciative he was willing to fight for himself and honour his sexuality.”
At first glance, that statement might surprise you.
But life, relationships, and sexuality are rarely simple.
During our conversation, I shared the deeply personal story of how my husband and I navigated a difficult period in our marriage—one that ultimately became a catalyst for growth, healing, and transformation.
Looking back, I can see that what felt painful at the time forced us to confront important truths about desire, intimacy, communication, and personal fulfillment. It pushed us to stop settling for less than what was possible and begin creating a relationship that truly supported both of our needs.
Today, I have immense gratitude for the journey because it led us to a level of intimacy and connection I never knew was available.
Why Sexuality Matters at Every Age
One of the core themes we explored is something I have dedicated my career to teaching:
Your sexuality does not expire.
In fact, many people discover that their most fulfilling experiences with intimacy happen later in life, once they have greater self-awareness, confidence, and emotional maturity.
Unfortunately, many people have been taught that declining desire, reduced pleasure, and diminished intimacy are simply part of aging.
I don’t believe that’s true.
There are more tools, therapies, technologies, and educational resources available today than ever before. We have unprecedented opportunities to support our sexual vitality and maintain meaningful connection throughout our lives.
The Connection Between Longevity and Intimacy
Because Age Well focuses on wellness and longevity, we also discussed the powerful relationship between sexual health and overall health.
Intimacy isn’t separate from wellness.
It’s woven into it.
Healthy sexual expression can contribute to:
- Emotional wellbeing
- Stress reduction
- Relationship satisfaction
- Improved circulation
- Hormonal balance
- Better sleep
- Greater happiness and life satisfaction
When we nurture our intimate lives, we’re often supporting many other aspects of our physical and emotional health as well.
Creating a Relationship That Continues to Grow
One of the things I hope listeners take away from this episode is that relationships are living, evolving partnerships.
The relationship you create in your twenties doesn’t have to be the same relationship you have in your forties, fifties, sixties, or beyond.
Growth is possible.
Transformation is possible.
And incredible intimacy is possible.
But it often requires curiosity, honesty, communication, and a willingness to challenge old assumptions about what love, partnership, and sexuality should look like.
Listen to the Episode ⇓
I thoroughly enjoyed this conversation with Dr Sophie Shotter and Fiona Mattesini. We explored topics that many people think about privately but rarely discuss openly, and I hope our dialogue helps normalize these important conversations.
If you’re interested in aging well, maintaining vibrant relationships, and discovering what’s truly possible for your intimate life, I encourage you to listen to the episode.
Thank you to Dr Sophie Shotter, Fiona Mattesini, and the Age Well team for creating space for such an open and meaningful discussion. The more we talk honestly about sexuality, intimacy, and aging, the more empowered we become to create lives filled with connection, pleasure, and vitality.